Behind the lens
by Alena S. Anigor
Summary: Sometimes the truth hurt... Sometimes the truth was better left unrevealed...But Ran Mouri was still happy to know the truth even though it hurt and even though it was hidden deep inside...Reviews are welcome.


Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan; the plot and characters belong to Gosho Aoyama and other respective owners.

**Behind the lens**

-by Alena S. Anigor

* * *

It was cold and cloudy outside, snowflakes covering the bustling street and snow squeaking under the shoes. Christmas was on its way and Ran Mouri sighed heavily, standing with a group of people on the sidewalk, waiting for the green light to flash. A few cars managed to drive by before the light turned green and the road was clear to walk across.

Ran took a step forward, trying to wiggle her way through the crowd, holding a few bags in each hand. Groceries, cookies, vegetable, fish...as well as the presents, were squished inside, making the visible bulges on the bags. Her feet carried her towards the other end of the road, and she took the bag from her left hand and joined it with the other two in her right one just to make a quick glance at her watch. It was almost ten thirty, and she knew she would be late.

"Sonoko is going to kill me," she muttered under her breath, speeding her pace a bit before the light turned red again. She fixed her woolen scarf and smoothed the crinkles on her coat before she balanced the bags in both hands again, strolling down the street hurriedly.

She also had to hurry home; her father practically _ordered_ her to get home before twelve in order to make something to eat. She deadpanned; he would probably die of starvation if there weren't for her. Conan would be hungry as well...Her eyes softened for just a second, before she gasped softly when she looked at the giant clock above the doors of one, giant store. Now it was already past ten thirty...Yep, Sonoko will definitely strangle her.

With a few quick footsteps, she finally reached her destination and pushed the doors open with her shoulder. Her fingers ached from holding the bags and she could feel the plastic material embedding into her skin even though she was wearing mittens. She couldn't wait to drop the bags and sit down, too. Spotting the brown-haired girl sitting impatiently behind one of the tables, she quickly strolled between a few people and with a sigh, plopped down onto the chair, surprising Sonoko a bit.

"Finally!" She exclaimed, annoyance evident on her face and in her voice. "What took you so long?"

Ran waved with her hand dismissively at her, trying to catch her breath for a few moments, before she smiled sheepishly at her friend.

"Sorry," she replied and ordered a cup of tea when the waitress approached her and asked her what she wanted to drink, "I got stuck in a supermarket," she ventured, observing Sonoko's cup of tea across the table, "there were just so many people!"

Sonoko glared at her somewhat obnoxiously before she leaned back in her chair and glanced outside the window to observe people passing by.

"Oh, well, I guess it's okay," she said in a nonchalant voice and then leaned forward again to look at her mischievously. She was just about to open her mouth to ask her something when the waitress came and brought Ran her tea. Sonoko stopped in mid-breath and waited till the waitress left to start with the questions.

"And," she asked eagerly, eyeing the bags curiously, resting neatly on the chair next to Ran, "what did you buy?"

Ran took a sip and then quickly lowered the cup down. The tea was still almost sizzling hot, the steam rising up from the cup. She looked at the bags briefly and then shrugged.

"The usual stuff," she said simply and Sonoko raised her eyebrows. Ran stared at her oddly. "What?"

"And?" The brown-haired girl added, a smug look crossing her face. Ran was confused.

"And what?"

Sonoko gave up with a frustrated sigh, stretching her hands and almost hitting a man who walked by. "The presents!"

Ran let out a surprised 'oh!' and then shuffled through the bags to reach a few packages, wrapped conveniently in colorful papers. She fished the largest one out first, wrapped in a blue paper with golden streaks.

"This is for dad," she announced and Sonoko nodded slowly with a casual 'uh-huh'. She was digging through the bags for a little while, finally finding the last two, one of them being wrapped in red and silver and the other one in blue and silver paper.

"I bought dad a new sweater," she said and Sonoko took the largest one to squeeze it. Her fingers dug into the paper and she could feel the soft fabric below. Ran put the other two presents at the table.

"This is for mom," she said, pointing at the smaller box, wrapped in red and silver, "and this is for Conan." She added, pointing at the other one. Sonoko took the present, bought for Eri and turned it in her hands.

"What's inside?" She asked, frowning in both confusion and curiosity. Ran smiled.

"She wanted me to buy her a woolen scarf, like the one I'm wearing. They're really warm," she replied and Sonoko resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She expected to hear about a pair of golden earrings inside...

"And this?" She pointed at Conan's present, lying on the table, right next to Ran's cup. The girl grinned, taking the box wrapped in blue and silver in her hands gingerly.

"A mystery novel," she said softly and Sonoko let out another, somewhat tortured sigh.

"That twerp is really weird sometimes," she said and Ran let out a giggle. She glanced at the window and noticed the decorations plastered on it.

"I guess he is...sometimes, yes," she replied softly and Sonoko looked at her oddly. They spent a few moments like that, in silence, only the chattering of other guests disrupting the peaceful atmosphere. Sonoko was observing her, now almost, solemn face for a few moments before she took a sip of her tea and then leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands.

"Didn't you forget about someone?" She asked her suddenly and Ran turned her head to look at her. She raised her cup, blowing a few times at the shimmering liquid inside. She took a sip and swallowed carefully, realizing that it was now pleasantly warm.

"About who?" She asked her, puzzled expression crossing her face as she took another sip. Sonoko closed her eyes and opened them a moment later to look at her sharply in the eyes.

"Shinichi."

She swallowed the liquid too fast and had to put the cup on the table quickly to tap herself on the chest, coughing a few times. Sonoko seemed almost amused now. She was watching her with a smug smile playing on her lips and when Ran finally stopped coughing, she leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Sonoko," Ran scolded her with a frown before she lowered her head and stared at the table's surface. She could even see her own solemn expression in it.

"Have you heard from him lately?" Sonoko asked her carefully, in a more civil manner, knowing very well that the subject was delicate and touchy. Ran was still for a few seconds then she took a deep breath and nodded slowly once. Sonoko leaned forward again, that same eagerness coming back to glimmer in her eyes.

"And?" She asked, staring at Ran in anticipation, "will he come back for Christmas?"

The question stung, ringing in her ears and with a shaky sigh, she shook her head, refusing to look up. She would probably see the same expression on her face – disappointed, sad look she had when she heard his voice on the phone two days ago.

_"I'm sorry, Ran,"_ he said, _"I won't be able to come back...I...I'm still working on that case and...I'm sorry."_

She could hear his voice, quiet and small on the other line, and there was an unmistakable pang of sadness in it. She said she understood...and hung up. Then she spent the next half an hour, sitting in her father's office, in the dark and staring dully out the window.

"That stupid Kudou!" She jerked a bit, snapping out of her stupor when she heard Sonoko's angry voice across the table. She was leaning back in her seat, her arms crossed and her expression livid. "It's Christmas! He can't even come home for Christmas? What is this case he's working on, anyway? It can't be _that_ hard! I mean – would coming home _kill_ him or what?!"

Ran was staring incredulously at her, listening to her rants and ramblings and then smiled softly. Sonoko seemed angry and agitated even more than she used to be...How odd. She chuckled and took another sip. The tea wasn't even warm anymore; it was mild and just right. When the hurricane called Sonoko finally calmed down a bit, silence ensued between them again as Ran gazed thoughtfully outside and Sonoko was fuming from across her, glaring at the decorations, hanging on the window.

"I guess I kind of knew he wouldn't be coming," Ran broke the uncomfortable silence and Sonoko looked at her in surprise before she lowered her head and stared at her own reflection gloomily.

"I still think he could've at least _tried_ to come back for Christmas," she said in a quiet, sullen voice on which Ran gave her a half-smile then glanced at Sonoko's bags, lying on the chair next to her.

"And what did you buy?" She asked her and then almost fell off the chair when Sonoko suddenly beamed at her, and started pulling out packages and presents out of the bags enthusiastically, explaining and informing her of every present in it, where she bought it, how it looked like and for whom it was. Needles to say, Ran was stuck in that café for a little while as well, until she realized it was almost noon and (she sighed in relief) Sonoko had no more presents to brag about.

They parted in front of the café, Sonoko trying to wave her with her hands stuffed with bags. Ran only smiled at her and turning around, headed down the street, once again, scurrying nervously down the snow covered streets and trying to avoid bumping into anyone.

She finally heaved a heavy sigh when she was walking down her street and spotted a familiar house with the letters written in kanji over the large windows. She wondered if her father hadn't perhaps, died of starvation already, but when she finally entered the house and put the bags down, she found him smoking a cigarette, sitting on the sofa with a beer can in his hand and watching Yoko Okino on TV. She deadpanned and only shook her head, wondering why she spent the whole trip back in a hurry and almost picked up a few people on the way.

She grabbed the bags and put them on a kitchen sink, retrieving the groceries out. She separated the presents carefully and put them aside, before she grabbed the apron that was hanging by the sink and got to business, taking pots out from the cupboard to make lunch. She decided she would put the presents in her room later, after lunch.

She wondered for a brief moment where Conan was, before she spotted him on the chair behind her father, sitting neatly in it and staring gloomily outside. Her eyes softened as she watched him like that, when her father snapped her out of her daze, laughing at the TV screen and yelling words of adoration for the _charming miss Okino._ She could only gape at him with half-lidded eyes and shake her head.

Later on that evening, she was standing behind that same sink, washing the dishes and drying them off later. She wanted to suggest her father to help her, but he was already sprawled all over the sofa, snoring loudly. His left arm was dangling over the edge, still holding the can of beer in his hand.

The ashtray was full of smoked cigarettes and she sniffled the air with a frown, never understanding what was so appealing in smoking. She took a plastic garbage bag, shook the remains of the ashtray inside and then walked all over the table to collect the beer cans lying scattered on the floor. Her father was a good man, and a good detective, but he was incredibly messy and irresponsible at times...

She bent down to take the can from his hand and he stirred in his sleep, mumbling something incoherent. A soft smile grazed her lips when she looked at his mouth agape and his expression completely oblivious to everything around him. With a last shake of her head, she went to her room and returned after a few moments, putting the bundle wrapped in blue and gold next to him. She hoped he would like his new sweater, as much as it wasn't expensive and stylish and glamorous and god knows what other words Sonoko used to describe her presents...It was coming from the heart. She already had an appointment with her mother tomorrow.

Personally, she wished so hard for her to come home, to celebrate Christmas with them like a real family, but Eri declined politely, telling how even though she was on holidays, that didn't keep the work from calling. Ran's expression saddened but she could vaguely hear the rustling of the papers aside and already imagined her mother, shuffling through various files and folders on her desk. She sighed, observing the small box in her hands – she would just have to give it to her tomorrow.

Glancing at the last wrapping on her bed, she lifted it and her face saddened even more.

He said he couldn't come...

"No wonder," she whispered and still carrying the box with her, headed towards her father's room he shared with the small boy. She creaked the doors open and carefully peeked inside, spotting a small figure huddled on the futon and under the blankets. She took a few steps in and left the doors open. Her father's snoring was heard from not so far away but it was faint and she knew it couldn't wake him up. Slowly, walking on her tiptoes, she approached the sleeping figure and bent down a bit, before she knelt down, clutching the box in her hands slightly.

She shook her head when she saw the glasses on his face. He rarely took them off, even when he was sleeping; she used to catch him with those large spectacles on his face a few times and always took them off, admiring his sleeping face, so peaceful and serene.

Gingerly, she put the box aside and raised her hands to grasp the brims of the glasses. She slid them off, careful not to graze his nose in the process and wake him up. She didn't want him to wake up now, not in this moment. Her face saddened when instead of the usual, peaceful expression he wore when he was sleeping, a frown greeted her, his brows knitted and his lips forming a thing line.

She let out a soft breath and fixed a few, unruly bangs that were spread over his eyes.

She used to watch him like that sometimes, just enjoying his presence until she would become sleepy herself and she would go to her own room and fall down onto her bed, gazing sadly outside the window.

She wished so many times before to see him for real, to touch him, to hug him and talk to him. To ask him so many questions and find out all the answers to them, but...she knew he couldn't tell her. He said it himself it was dangerous a few times. She understood...After all, his image would always stay in her heart, embedded into her memory and felt in every fiber of her being.

She hadn't even realized she was crying until she could feel something wet trickling down her cheek. She wiped the tears away quickly and glanced at the box, wrapped in a shiny paper.

She lifted it from the carpet and put it on his pillow, right next to his head. It would greet him in the morning, and hopefully, he would be satisfied. She knew very well what kind of mystery freak he was...

With a soft smile, she leaned down and planted a chaste kiss on his forehead, relieved when he didn't open his eyes or even stir in his sleep.

She stood up and glanced one more time at him before exiting the room.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered and smiled, "Shinichi."

* * *

**A/N**

Whee...haven't written a DC fic in..._/checks her list/_ ages!

Well, anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this. At first, I thought of writing a simple, Christmas DC fic but then this idea came to my mind and I decided to make Ran _aware_ of Conan's true identity. I know he managed to convince her otherwise for so many times, but I still think, that deep in her heart, she _knows_.

Yeah, so that's about it. Merry Christmas people! _/throws candy all over the place/_


End file.
